Sunday, January 28, 2007
Fri was a laughing day; spent most part of the day laughing my head off (:
Early in the morning, I felt something sharp poke me on my right thigh. Dismissing as one of the stuff on my handphone strap, I shrugged it off. Only later did I realize, it was my nametag. SO STUPID RIGHT?!
Got back emath mrt on fri and oh my goodness I felt so angry and disappointed and sickened with myself. I only managed a 26 over 30 when I expected full marks. I made two careless mistakes and poof! went my perfect score :/
Chemistry was so funny; I kept laughing throughout the entire lesson. Sarah got punished by nair and the situation was so hilarious. You should have seen the class trying to control their laughter, and the look on nair’s face was priceless (:
Anyway, I was very SUAY during eng lesson. Being the only person to write my persuasive essays on blogging and youths, I was asked to present twice. But it all turned out quite well because I actually got praised for my blogging essay (: want to type it here, however, i shall refrain from it because i think it is against the law to offer an opinion on something remotely close to politics on the internet without official permission (:
After assembly had history retest right there and then in the hall. It was the exact same thing as the previous test I failed, which is weird but not unexpected (in fact I suspected it was a long time coming, and therefore spent time studying the relevant parts).
Rc was quite alright; we had 13 sec 1s joining us this year, making me a ma’am. Im a MA’AM leh!!! Hahaha. Then it was said that I had a successor in the bunch of sec 1s by the name of Elizabeth (dont think she knows my blog exists). Elizabeth is weird and cutish, and she IS NOT my successor. Im not as enthu as her for goodness sake.
Laughed a lot during rc too, esp during the choosing of group names for talentime. You should have heard our group names, stuff like random cwo, rcwo (red cross warrant officer) and abc123. xinfeng and I were crapping around, even mistakenly leading the sec 1s into believing that we were sisters (:
Spent the whole entire afternoon yesterday getting new files and filing in all the random worksheets and notes that I could find related to bio, chemistry, ss and eng. So tiring :/
Slept for 12 hours straight, from 9 to 9 (:
On Friday sarah and I were reminiscing about sec one life. It seemed like just one week ago when mr low told us that we were supposed to write cellulose cell wall in sec 3 if we take pure bio, and here we are, already in sec 3. it seemed not very long ago that we were so carefree and new to st.margs. without us realizing it, sec one has already became one of our most cherished memories (:
Sigh. I don’t know why its like this; probably never will. People are cutting themselves left, right and centre, people are overdosing on purpose. I turn a blind eye; pretend not to see, stuff each and every one down the back of my mind. Is life really that harsh, that difficult? Sometimes the tragedy and reality of life hits you hard, you ask questions, but the world remains infuriatingly silent. You gave up trusting anyone, why bother, you asked. Maybe that’s why you try to drown yourself, you yearn for that sea of red, that river of pain, to offer solace. You say no one has gone through your experience, no one understands, no one really knows how its feels like. You don’t grasp the fraility of life, don’t want to look further than your own; cant see the bigger picture. If you look deeper, you don’t see your problem or your tragedy, you see values arising from them, you see the meaning, you see your own ideals cached in them, you see the base for your future, you see yourself, serene and strong with quiet faith, triumphing over it. you go through one of the toughest times but also receive one of the sweetest victory. and i don't mean you as in generally you. i mean you, as in... her. you.
I chose ballet; gave up gym. Too drained to type more. Bye.
fantasised at
3:26 PM
