Sunday, February 04, 2007
I don’t want to do this; I know she’s a good teacher. But its one thing to get scolded and another to be WRONGLY ACCUSED of something I did not do. Bio. Mrs j.tan spoiled my day on fri; she not only convinced me that teachers are blind but only notice students unless they make some noise (i.e. laugh). I really DID pay attention in bio, just because I missed out vital information on water potential doesn’t mean im laughing the entire time. As my teacher, you should know better than this. You should know that I don’t laugh the entire lesson; I take down notes; I try my best to listen when I could have easily read my book under the table. Of all people, YOU SHOULD KNOW.
I felt like an innocent person being jailed for a crime I dint commit. I walked around the school the entire day, feeling that amount of hurt and unjustice weighing heavily down on me. Bio was the only subject (apart from lit) that I felt motivated to study for. I put my heart and soul down to it, only to be so cruelly torn apart.
That day I was mentally tired; I tried to absorb but it dint actually go into my writing. Is being tired a crime? I work 24/7 a day, I rush out projects, assignments, sleep past midnight. I have to face my parents, face the world, when they all look towards me for an answer to studying.
Fri you left me wondering, is my behavior that bad? I did some thinking, I did ask myself questions. But I maintain that I was NEVER EVER unattentive during bio. In the beginning I hated you for not noticing me when I was attentive; not looking my way.
Fri I felt the urge to cut myself (be thankful it never happened) cos I felt that life is so shit. There are so many issues; homework, projects, ballet. Your scolding pulled me deeper into the river of depression.
Had rc on fri. Was quiet cos of MRS J.TAN lah, then who else. Blahblah and dismissed. Waited for tharshini with sarah, went home together.
On thurs wangli must have had too much stress or smth, she was actually crazy enough to spring a compre test on us :/ it ended up alright cos I did put my heart and soul into it, so…ya.
Hist structured essay test was okay, I did study but, as with all things, I dint study in depth. However it was manageable la, I did quite okay.
Everything has been just a blur. Bio test being alright but not too well done, failing my hcl ct with a horrendous score of 42, etc etc.
And I find that im averaging 3 to 4 tests per week nowadays. Sec 3 life is hard.
Lsb actually changed our seats in hist, so now we are sitting in fours. And im sitting with strangers, people like germaine tan (tennis girl), shalaka (okay I do know her) and Alexandra (the supposed sec 4 girl). Why must he change all our seats?
Attended the tangent talk at national library yestd with the entire hcl class. Gloria tan, Brenda, mabel, Winnie and I met for lunch at bugis before that. Everything was quite fuzzy and unclear because we changed meeting place and ended up with frantic phone calls and sms-es (: it all ended quite well and we trooped down to mos burger to have our lunch, following that we walked round in circles to look at stuff in bugis.
Met people from our school doing flag day at various locations, and being nice, I donated (: anyway, we walked around for quite some time (and saw ms koh on the way, but she was plugging in her earphones so was literally deaf) before we finally rushed to the library. Went to the pod, level 16, where we found out that the only seats available were next to the RI boys (cue horrifying screams). Therefore we decided to sit on the floor at the side, a much better sitting position altogether.
There were quite a few schools there, ranging from st.nics, chung cheng high and RI to scgs and of course, smss. While other schools only sent in some representatives, our school had to be the extra one and send in the entire class. That’s kiasuism at work for all to see. The speaker was a prof koh, alumnus of cath high primary and chung cheng high and another lady, the alumnus of pasir panjang pri and crescent girls school.
Found out a great deal about schools and school life in the past, and to give them credit, quite a few were very interesting. Like how crescent was formerly a co-ed school but was transformed to a girls school because there were a shortage of schools. There was also funny moments, like when a guy went up to ask a question but ended up listing the entire Singapore history right then and there.
Anyhow, so the talk ended (wangli told us to write a reflection on it, not only will it be graded, its gonna end up on Friday weekly) and we headed down to the library to browse through books. I ended up borrowing, like how I always do if you put me anywhere remotely near a library. After that, huini and I went for a burger. Got home before 630.
Anyway I had no idea that the bitch was so bitchy. She actually goes around advertising that she changes her boyfriends frequently, trying to give the impression that oh wow she is so attractive or something. I mean, if you want to be intimate, go far far away from school lah, stand outside school for what? People ah, dont want to be people, must go and be bitches. Aiyoyo.
Today was way productive. Taught my bro for an hour, finished revision for hcl tom.
Haix. Life could spin off into all kinds of dramas, roller-coasters, tears and tantrums, but still, the HOMEWORK has to be done.
fantasised at
9:34 PM
